Camino Astorga
Last year, during my Camino Aragones, I invited four of my friends and family members to walk a part of the journey with me. One of them is my friend Jochem. I’ve known Jochem since I was 11 years old, and that has remained the case to this day. I was thrilled to hear that, after returning from a week of walking with me, he had decided to continue the Camino from the point where he ended with me (Burgos). I then received an invitation to walk a week with him. I accepted the invitation, but I made it clear that I could choose the route myself. As said, so done, and my route this year goes from Astorga to La Faba, of which a report follows here:
Day 1: Madrid
A year later
And here you are again. Back in Spain. I’ve already completed the first few kilometers. I hesitated about whether I should keep a blog this time. But, at the request of many and my own need to reflect, I decided to do it anyway… I also notice that sharing my thoughts leads to understanding and, above all, connection. Something I find valuable.
A year has passed, and things haven’t gotten any better. Parkinson’s disease is slowly creeping into my brain. Many people wonder what that does to you. Let me give it a try: It feels like the battery in your remote control needs to be replaced. You want to turn up the volume, but no matter how many times you press the button, it won’t get any louder. And then suddenly: boom! It works again. That’s how my brain sometimes doesn’t want to do what I ask of it. It stutters a bit. It’s a fight with yourself. The thing is, you never know when that left hook or right uppercut will come. That makes you feel uncertain…
Is it all negative? Definitely not. Frustration also brings insight. Mentally, you engage in the fight with that frustration. Does that always work? Sometimes yes, but often no. I seek help with this, and I’m not ashamed of it. I need to solve this, and it comes with self-knowledge followed by insight. After all, I want to be able to celebrate life for many more years. There’s still so much inside me that needs to come out. So, I’m learning how to dodge that left hook and right uppercut. Not by bending down, but with my back straight. Only then can I go back on the offensive.
Buen Camino,
Peter.
Day 2: Madrid
Perspective
Today I went to the Prado. I go there to wander through history. And if something catches my eye, I turn on the audio guide to learn more. The story behind the painting (often commissioned by a wealthy person, a typical European desire for possession) or the hidden symbolism.
By chance, I come across a painting of a military leader handing a key to another military leader. It’s called The Surrender of Breda by Justin of Nassau to Ambrogio Spinola. And for those who don’t know, my childhood was spent in Breda. For me, it’s the most Dutch place in the Netherlands. But this painting is called the most Spanish painting of Spain. So, you see the story from a different perspective.
And that brings me to the word perspective. I find it a complicated word. Is it about how your future will look, or how others see you? The latter occupies my mind. What are my career opportunities? Am I seen as a risk? What is my perspective? I still don’t get it… But it certainly feels judgmental.
Back to The Surrender of Breda. What they forget to mention is that the Dutch, with a kind of Trojan horse, eventually overcame the Spanish. You can guess it… What will be my Trojan horse? I’ll start working on it next week. If there’s anyone who can hand me the key to success? I won’t judge…
Buen Camino,
Peter.
Day 3: Astorga
Coincidence Doesn’t Exist
After I closed the door in Madrid, another door opens somewhere else. For me, that happened today in the beautiful Astorga. That Jochem was waiting for me there is no coincidence. At his invitation, I am walking a part of the Camino this year, just as he did last year at my invitation. And yet, coincidence is exactly what does NOT exist on the Camino.
Giving in to coincidence is precisely what gives the Camino its character. But you do have to give trust in return. And that trust comes on foot and goes on horseback. Letting go to coincidence brings you to places you would never otherwise visit. Often, these are valuable places and equally valuable conversations.
And sometimes, I lose that trust, so I’ll let myself be surprised by coincidence in the coming days. Because where you close one door, another one will open somewhere else.
Buen Camino,
Peter.
Day 4: Rabanal del Camino
Reflection
Today, I walked my first hike. Just 20 km, so it wasn’t too bad. A trip down memory lane. Speaking of which, I went back to see what I had written on this day last year.
I was walking with Carlijn at that time. On this day, she left behind the sorrow of our twins to make room for a feeling of love. My coping strategy made sure that I didn’t process this loss. Now, a year later, I’ve become aware that this strategy doesn’t move me forward, so I’ve started working on it internally. Has it helped? Certainly. Am I there yet? No, not yet. I still feel too much responsibility (the cause of the coping strategy) and can’t let go of it yet. I’m not saying it’s done, but I promise I’ll work on it this coming year. That is at least my full intention.
Buen Camino,
Peter.
Day 5: Ponferrada
Up the hill, down the hill
It was two tough days. I walked a total of 60 km through mountains and hills.
What stood out to me is that going up and down the hills went pretty well. On the other hand, flat stretches of paved roads threw me off balance. This feels a bit contradictory. I need something to push against and push off from.
But if you’re constantly focused on pushing against something, you’re not focusing on what you actually want. So, what do I actually want? I want to be strong without always having to be strong. I want to be able to laugh and to cry. I want to keep telling stories that connect people. I want to continue developing and, above all, keep moving. I’ll start tomorrow. 24 km, and I hope for lots of flat stretches.
Buen Camino,
Peter.
DaY 6: La Faba
Trust
From my Camino last year, I returned with more questions than I had when I left. The past few days have been a trip down memory lane. While walking, I realized that I have slowly begun to answer the questions I asked myself, both consciously and unconsciously. What you focus on grows. And I have grown. This realization came to me in the past few days. I can solve more and more dilemmas on my own. At least, I am getting better at asking the right questions. But you need those to find the right answers. And because of that, I no longer have to be afraid, afraid of the future. Am I there yet? No, not yet. But it is time to start working on the answers. And any help is welcome.
I thank my buddy Jochem for the invitation and think it’s fantastic that you are walking this Camino with such intense energy. You are a true connector. Keep it up! I am proud of you.
Also, thanks to Cicilia for the laughter, the tears, and your sincerity. Keep on singing! So beautiful… 😉.
Thanks also, Brent. You were great company, and thank you for your listening ear.
Keep following your feelings, Samuel, don’t doubt. You’ll get there.
Thanks, Beth, for the wise advice and beautiful one-liners. And where one door closes, another door opens elsewhere.
And special thanks to our friends from IJmuiden and Oldenzaal for their compassion.
It was a wonderful journey.